Turning my storm into someone else's rainbow
Turning my storm into someone else's rainbow
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Inconceivable — Wine

S is for...

Emergency Room Holidays Mother's Day Nephews Prayer Real Life Wine

S is for...

Yesterday was Mother's Day here in the US. It was hard. Shitty even. S is for shitty.  You'll get the pun in a few. Also, this post is not censored for profanity. I let it fly freely. It started off like any other family gathering day. Well, after I could rally myself to get out of bed. I'd much prefer to just lay there with Tallie. Wake up, eat breakfast, down some coffee, start (or finish) whatever dish I was tasked with taking. This year was dessert - cupcakes for everyone! ...Then I wished a group of fellow IVF'ers (most with...

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T is for...

Baby Dragon Birthday Fertility Infertility IVF Not Pregnant Real Life Update Wine

T is for...

Tomorrow is my birthday. My 30th birthday. T is for thirty. It would also have been our due date if the May 22nd transfer would have worked. It might be a little rough. I'm not really looking forward to it. I planned on having a toddler by the time I was thirty. Instead, I'm still waiting. Impatiently waiting...as much as I try...patience is a virtue, and I seem to be running low on that one lately. We're going out for dinner, with our neighbors. To a fancy restaurant. Where I will eat. And drink. Possibly a lot. I'm pretty sure I'm...

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R is for...

Nephews Not Pregnant Prayer Real Life Resent Suicide Wine

R is for...

My sister in law committed suicide on September 29th. It's been a lot. A lot of changes. A lot of emotions. A lot of resent. R is for resent. She left FOUR children behind. A 14 year old boy (P). An 8 year old girl (B). Both from previous relationships, but still my family. She and my brother had two children together. My sweet, sassy, cuddly nephews. One celebrated their 2nd birthday 1 week after her passing (L). The other, less than 18 months older, is now 3.5 (G). She had her demons—don't we all. She struggled with substance abuse. Kratom....

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B is for...

Baby Dragon Beta Day Embryo Transfer Fertility In Vitro Infertility IVF Negative Not Pregnant Wine

B is for...

Beta day. Baffled. Buying 4 bottles of wine.  At 10 am I had my blood drawn to check my beta hCG level, as well as estradiol (estrogen) and progesterone. Around 1 pm, while at the grocery store, I logged in to my patient portal to check for results. There they were, staring back at me. <0.100 Negative. Again. I expected it, thanks to the home test I took when I woke up this morning...but it still hurts to have it confirmed. I headed to the snack aisle and stocked up on some sour patch kids and chips and queso. My phone rang....

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