Inconceivable — Real Life

Yesterday was Mother's Day here in the US. It was hard. Shitty even. S is for shitty.  You'll get the pun in a few. Also, this post is not censored for profanity. I let it fly freely. It started off like any other family gathering day. Well, after I could rally myself to get out of bed. I'd much prefer to just lay there with Tallie. Wake up, eat breakfast, down some coffee, start (or finish) whatever dish I was tasked with taking. This year was dessert - cupcakes for everyone! ...Then I wished a group of fellow IVF'ers (most with...

It's National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) again and this year's theme is #infertilityuncovered  #NIAW19 So, let’s get uncomfortable. Let's talk about the #1in8 couples who are diagnosed with infertility. Last year I focused on the facts, this year I’m focusing on me. No sugar-coating here, so buckle up. In case you missed it, or need a refresher here's part 1: My first facebook post about our struggle This week also means it has now been over *4.5 YEARS* since Chad and I started trying to start a family. To some people, that may seem ridiculously long, but to others, that's just the tip of...

Tomorrow is my birthday. My 30th birthday. T is for thirty. It would also have been our due date if the May 22nd transfer would have worked. It might be a little rough. I'm not really looking forward to it. I planned on having a toddler by the time I was thirty. Instead, I'm still waiting. Impatiently waiting...as much as I try...patience is a virtue, and I seem to be running low on that one lately. We're going out for dinner, with our neighbors. To a fancy restaurant. Where I will eat. And drink. Possibly a lot. I'm pretty sure I'm...

Today I contacted my Nurse Coordinator to let her know our break would be longer than we originally planned. W is for waiting. I've had my nephews quite a bit since the end of September. My brother works full time, and although the 3.5 year old (G) is in preschool, it's only 2x a week, for about 3 hours each time. My mom (Grandma) has both kids pretty much full time, so I've stepped in to help as much as I can. The 2 year old (L) is getting smarter each day, and along with that comes the sass and defiance,...

My sister in law committed suicide on September 29th. It's been a lot. A lot of changes. A lot of emotions. A lot of resent. R is for resent. She left FOUR children behind. A 14 year old boy (P). An 8 year old girl (B). Both from previous relationships, but still my family. She and my brother had two children together. My sweet, sassy, cuddly nephews. One celebrated their 2nd birthday 1 week after her passing (L). The other, less than 18 months older, is now 3.5 (G). She had her demons—don't we all. She struggled with substance abuse. Kratom....